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"I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me. And it has nothing to do with what I look like really, it is just that I gave myself the power to say that I am beautiful, and if I could do that, maybe there is hope for them too. And the great divide between the beautiful and the ugly will cease to be. Because we are all what we choose."

Margaret Cho

10 steps to fall in love with your body

Posted by on Aug 28, 2014 in Blog, Body Image, Self-love-spiration | 0 comments

10 steps to fall in love with your body


Regular readers of this blog and my books may have an inkling that I am a proponent of self-love.

An inkling. 

Or something.

Just kidding. I do almost nothing on the internet other than teach people how to love themselves.

Today I bring this discussion to you in a 30-minute how to video, replete with my ten favorite tips. (Which are related to, but different from, the “10 Reasons to Love your Body” Youtube video I’ve got floating around the paleosphere.)

In this new class I share struggles and triumphs of my own life, what I loved so much about therapy, and how to stand up for yourself in the face of all that’s trying to keep you down.

The talk is located over at the Entheos Academy for Optimal Living (which I adore).


Click here to jump to the site and view!

Here’s part of the list of the ten ideas I propose:

  1. Surround Yourself with the Love You Deserve

    (Before you improve your brain and heart, optimize your environment for success.)

  2. Deconstruct

    (Before you can build a shiny monument, you’ve got to knock down the crumbly, decayed pillars.)

  3. Appreciate

    (Chances are infinitely good that no matter how many failures you perceive in your body, the things it does right vastly outnumber the wrong.)

  4. Lessen Your Attachment to Your Looks

    (Wherein Stefani tells you you are awesome for many reasons and you need a healthy body in order to be so.)

  5. Set Realistic Expectations

    (Perfect just ain’t real.)

  6. Get Embodied

    (Practice being in harmony with your body by doing awesome things like dancing.)

  7. Fight

    (Get fierce! Say no to norms and yes to love.)


…and more.  (I’m simply not sharing all of them and in full because there may be copyright issues involved?)

Read the full list of self-love tips and explanations, watch a trailer of the video, and watch the complete 30 minute video at the Entheos Academy for Optimal Living here.


Like so! (Or something)


While we’re at it, I may as well tell you about what a stellar, life-changing business the Academy for Optimal Living is. (At least in my experience.) It’s basically like Netflix for your brain and your soul. You sign up (there’s a good-length free trial)-and receive access to hundreds of classes on topics ranging from the proper interpretation of Nietzsche to how to fuel your body as a triathlete. Their tagline is “optimize your life. change the world.” Awesome, I know, and I am so honored and grateful to be considered a “Professor” (alongside people like Abel James and JJ Virgin) and a “thought leader in the field of women’s health” by these giants of wisdom, and even happier to be able to take their classes.




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The best cookbooks of the summer

Posted by on Aug 25, 2014 in Blog | 1 comment

The best cookbooks of the summer


Alright everyone. Fasten your seatbelts. I’ve let all the great cookbooks pile up over the last few months. Today I am going to review them for you all at once. Ready…?



First up:

Paleo by Season: A Chef’s Approach to Paleo Cooking by Pete Servold

paleo by season


Pete and Sarah Servold are a rare team in the paleosphere. A lot of the paleo world is flashy, caught up in neon colors and knee-high powerlifting socks. That’s cool, it has it’s place. Yet what I love so much about the Servolds, on the other hand, is that they are just as vivacious and full of personality, but extraordinarily down to Earth.

They also happen to be extraordinarily talented.

Credit: Pete's Paleo.

Credit: Pete’s Paleo.

First, as founders of Pete’s Paleo, Pete and Sarah prepare and ship local, organic paleo meals all around the nation.

Second, as a highly trained chef, Pete has made it his mission to bring the know-how of chefs into the homes of paleo and nonpaleo people everywhere. Paleo by Season is remarkable in its instructional quality… one of the best I’ve ever seen. It’s also – another part of what makes this book stand out as one of my favorites – highly focused on local foods. It teaches you all about the seasons, how to take advantage of produce at its peak, and how to eat in the “off” season, too.


Credit: Pete’s paleo.

Best thing about it is that it’s all so simple. Simple ingredients (none of that “distilled arrowroot powder with gold flecks and unicorns” bullshit I can’t stand and see in so many other paleo cookbooks.) Simple steps. A “chef’s approach” does not mean “a complicated approach.” It means: teaching you how to do the important things right. Pete takes simple ingredients, shows you how to make them so many ways, and encourages you to really, this is my feeling, be at one with the food and the tools in your kitchen.

love this book. One of my all time favorite cookbooks.

Here on Amazon.


The Paleo Kitchen by Juli Bauer & George Bryant

the paleo kitchen


So everybody know’s George and Juli. If you don’t, welcome to the paleosphere in the 21st century.

George Bryant and Juli Bauer are two of the rockstars of the paleo food blogging world… maybe the most infamous ones of them all.

They teamed up – can you imagine two giants with one standing on top of the other’s shoulders? – to write The Paleo Kitchen, and, hell. Is it ever a masterpiece.

Which explains why it’s been on the New York Times Bestseller list since the first week it came out a few months ago.

This rockstar boasts of…


And all the personality, fun-loving, no-nonsense, extraordinary humor of George and Juli in one book.

Here on Amazon.


Paleo Grilling: A Modern Caveman’s Guide to Cooking with Fire by Tony Federico



Tony Federico…. okay, I know I say this a lot.  But Tony Federico is one of my absolute favorite people in the paleo world. I’m serious this time! He’s got this sort of.. soothing.. presence about him. That doesn’t stop him from being as sharp as a tack or outrageously funny in this insightful, understated sort of way.. nor from having the most delightful laugh.

Anyway. Tony. A good guy.

I got this book in the mail right in time for summer in Cambridge (I happen to be one of the few with a back yard.. even if its just a 4×4 square of concrete.) I live with several grill aficionados and when this book came they poured over it for hours, happily debating techniques and obviously seeing Tony as one of their own. I remember one even said “I bet he just take techniques he reads about on the internet and doesn’t really know how to grill himself.” Then I saw him hogging Paleo Grilling on the sofa for hours the next evening.

Sometimes its hard to make paleo an easy, social, acceptable way of eating in public. This book makes it the star. There’s no need to be ashamed – it’s time to bring paleo into the limelight! You can eat paleo and have the most amazing dishes, with zero sacrifice at all. In fact, with this book, grilling goes so far beyond the standard. It made mine and my roommates a summer of lessons learned about prepping meats, using the right tools, and giving the right treatment to the right cuts, never leaving out the vegetables and other amazing grillable sides. An amazing book for bringing out the best in what is so very paleo about the whole paleo thing.

Here on Amazon.


 Digestive Health with Real Food by Aglaee Jacob, RD

digestive health with real food


Digestive Health with Real Food: The Cookbook comes on the heals of Digestive Health with Real Food. Aglaee Jacob is a gut, IBS, inflammation, leaky gut and hormones specialist (and registered dietician). She first authored DHwRF, which was a smash hit that literally saved lives, detailing precisely how to eat an elimination diet guided by paleo principles and autoimmune science. Aglaee understands FODMAPs, SIBO, gerd, acid reflex, heartburn, constipation, diarrhea, bloating, Celiac, other autoimmune diseases… and how to navigate them. If you need a guide for your gut, you can’t do better than Aglaee.




So thus arrived the cookbook. Clocking in at 117 recipes, DHwRFTC (hah!) provides what I think is one of the most fun and simultaneously practical paleo cookbooks out there. To be clear – this cookbook isn’t just paleo. You won’t expect to find foods outside of Aglaee’s elimination diet in these pages. But you will most certainly see tons of ghee, coconut products, grass fed animals, seafood, veggies, and other low-FODMAP plants.

What’s so fun about this book is that it’s a bit flexible. Aglaee says “any of these eight vegetables works great in this dish” while simultaneously telling you her own personal favorites and techniques for cooking them. She recommends different substiutions after many of the recipes because she knows that each person’s digestive needs are unique. This is a guide becoming your own guru and healer in the kitchen – and I really could not put more endorsement or excitement into this idea. I love it. 117 recipes for gut healing, and all the happy benefits that come from it.

Here on Amazon.


ZenBelly Cookbook: An Epicurean’s Guide to Paleo Cuisine by Simone Miller



Simone Miller brings us another homerun that bridges the gap between paleo foods and professional cuisine.

Whereas Pete Servold’s Paleo by Season focuses on fresh, local, seasonal ingredients, Zenbelly brings a down-home, entertainment aspect to paleo cooking. Miller provides all the tips and tools you need to make simple, quick meals during the week …something I personally appreciate very much. She also likes to talk about how to entertain. My favorite aspect of that whole discussion is not the delectable appetizers mouthwatering as each photo is… but rather the ways she teaches us to cut corners and shave time without sacrificing quality.

My kind of woman.

One more thing I love about this book is one of the sentences on the dust jacket: “With a focus on quality ingredients, technique, and balancing flavors, this book will take the reader on a journey that will leave any feeling of restriction behind.” Boom. With more than 100 recipes, I certainly can’t say no to that.

Here on Amazon.

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There is a right way and a wrong way to do fitness

Posted by on Aug 21, 2014 in Blog | 0 comments

There is a right way and a wrong way to do fitness


The majority of my fellow bloggers went to AHS in Berkeley, California the weekend of August 7. A big part of my heart desperately wanted to, too. Berkeley is one of my favorite places in the world, and that weekend it was filled with some of my favorite people in the world. Nonetheless I chose to expand my horizons differently this August weekend.

Instead of  flying across the country to AHS, I drove a few hundred miles up the Atlantic coast to Auburn, Maine. There’s not a whole lot up there in the middle of Maine – aside from rivers and trout and good people and grass and serenity – but what is there, is astounding.

I am talking about Wolfpack FitnessYou may have heard me singing Wolfpack’s praises on Facebook before. This past weekend, however, was my first opportunity to actually see what this awesome community of women, men, and children has going on in real life.

August 7-9 marked Wolfpack’s second annual Strong is Beautiful celebration.

At Sib2 I got to witness, finally, a real life gym that does fitness right.





Here is what I got to witness while I was there:

-Scalable workouts that are possible for anyone of any skill level.

-Short bursts of high intensity exercise that never leaves anyone over-drained.

-1-3 intense workouts a week, and no more.

-Workouts that focus on abilities rather than on numbers on a scale.

There are no tens, twenties, or fifties at Wolfpack Fitness. There are, instead, cinderblocks, iron chains, buckets full of bricks, and tractor tires. There are no treadmills, but instead bear crawls. The Wolfpack leader, extraordinary energizer bunny Luke Robinson, celebrates being fit enough to keep up with toddlers, push a stalled car, or help friends move from one side of town to the other.

-A focus on strength rather than appearance

All body types are welcome and celebrated at wolfpack fitness. No one applauds anyones physique, nor denigrates anyone’s rolls.

-Community support

Members of Wolfpack fitness – at least so far as I can tell! – do not compete or try to tear each other down. They cheer for each other, chant each other’s names, and hug each other out of exultation and pride.


Members of Wolfpack fitness treat each other like their own.

-Fun Workouts are accompanied by fun outfits, pop music, and – admittedly bad, but appreciated nonetheless – jokes by leader Luke.

-Seriousness about health.

People at Wolfpack fitness focus on health first and foremost. While so much of what they do is about having fun, it is fun focused on healing the body and the spirit. This community is 100 % about empowerment. Nothing like a number on a scale.

-Community involvement and outreach

Wolfpack fitness won Robb Wolf’s farm-to-gym challenge for good reason. They are loyal customers of and advocates for Nezinscot farm, an organic farm with grass-fed, pasture-raised cattle, pigs, goats, and poultry. (If you’re in Maine, a visit to Nezinscot farm is a must!)


Wolfpack fitness runs it’s own garden, completely directed and sustained by its members.


All with a positive attitude are welcome as one of their own at Wolfpack fitness – an incredible feeling I can personally attest to.




At Wolfpack fitness, there was no:

-Body shaming

-Food shaming

-Putting each other down

-Injury-prone exercising

-Obsessive fitness mentality



-Calorie counting


Before I drove up to Auburn, I suspected the Shevoles of Wolfpack fitness would show me that all the good fitness stuff I’ve always dreamed of is possible. Boy, oh boy did they ever deliver. I am so glad I went, even though it meant I had to miss AHS. And while I have moved work outs out of my own life to help me minimize body image issues, the Wolfpack had me charmed. I knew that if I lived in Auburn, my life would be enriched by joining, no questions asked. I wouldn’t be drawn into body image issues. I’d be held as a member of loving community.

So at the very least, I returned home with a warm, grateful feeling in my heart.

Wolfpack is a community focused on strength — which includes physical, mental and spiritual strength — that delights in each other’s spirits and capabilities of their physical bodies. This is how fitness should be done. If you are a fitness instructor, junkie, or participant, read through this list again. Check out Wolfpack’s Facebook page. Maybe you’ll be inspired them. I sure as hell was.


All photo credits go to Luke Robinson of Wolfpack Fitness.


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10 Steps to Be Loyal to a Healthy Diet

Posted by on Aug 14, 2014 in Blog | 0 comments

10 Steps to Be Loyal to a Healthy Diet


At AHS 2012 (holy time flying that was more than two years ago now) I had the most perfect 30 second exchange of my entire life with Mark Sisson.

We were in complete agreement: the health industry, we said, was headed toward a major shift in focus. No longer will we need to worry so much about what to eat. We know that already. What we need to do is learn how to eat those foods. America’s problem with food isn’t knowledge — it’s loyalty.

We said all of these things exchanging about twenty-two words and fifty head nods apiece. I can’t remember how we did it.

In any case, I recently gave a talk (and quite an awesome one, if I do so say myself) describing my ten favorite tips for how to be loyal to a healthy diet. For those of you who have read this blog for a while now or who have read Sexy by Nature, some of the themes will definitely be familiar to you.

I argue, for example, that “the most important tool in any dieter’s toolkit is love.” I ask that you be partners with your body. I espouse on the virtues of self-love for several minutes. But some of them are most likely not all that familiar, and I manage to fill in explicit details and observations I’ve made in my consulting practice and in my own life that end up making it fairly entertaining.

Here’s part of the list of the ten ideas I propose:

  1. Know What You’re Up Against

    (Arming yourself with knowledge about the poison being peddled to you helps you make smart choices. Perhaps even more important, it gives you the indignance you need to help you say no.)

  2. Make Cooking Easy

    (Wherein I provide approximately 600 tips for turning your culinary life into a breeze. My personal solution is to do 90% of my cooking in the microwave. I know that’s not for everybody.)

  3. Keep Healthy Food on Hand

    (Wherein I talk about snacks, travel, work, and excuses.)

  4. Make Healthy Food the Choice, Not the Rule

    (Unless you’ve got an autoimmune disease, diets are guidelines, not rules. Forbidding foods = unhappiness.)

  5. Love Your Body and Yourself

    (“Change is not always easy. Yet the more you love yourself, the less willpower it requires. Love makes you want instead of feel like you have to eat healthfully.”)

  6. Never Punish Yourself for What You’ve Eaten

    (Wherein I get real about acceptance.)


…and more.  (I’m simply not sharing all of them and in full because I’m pretty sure there are copyright issues involved.)


Read the full list of tips, watch a trailer of the video, and watch the complete 30 minute video at the Entheos Academy for Optimal Living here.



While we’re at it, I may as well tell you about what a stellar, life-changing business the Academy for Optimal Living is. (At least in my experience.) It’s basically like Netflix for your brain and your soul. You sign up (there’s a good-length free trial)-and receive access to hundreds of classes on topics ranging from the proper interpretation of Nietzsche to how to fuel your body as a triathlete. Their tagline is “optimize your life. change the world.” Awesome, I know, and I am so honored and grateful to be considered a “Professor” (alongside people like Abel James and JJ Virgin) and a “thought leader in the field of women’s health” by these giants of wisdom, and even happier to be able to take their classes.




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It’s time to tell your story

Posted by on Aug 12, 2014 in Blog, Self-love-spiration | 0 comments

It’s time to tell your story


The following is a guest post by one of my favorite storytellers, Camille DePutter.


Do you ever feel like there’s a part of you that goes unseen?


You may have all kinds of external recognition in your life from work, family, friends, the people who wave hello when they see you, and yet… you still wish to be somehow more ‘seen,’ more ‘heard,’ or more fully, demonstrably “you” in your life.


This feeling may be subtle, or it may be a loud, growing plea within. If you can relate at all to this sensation, you’re not alone. While we go about our lives, doing our work and fulfilling our responsibilities, we all have our private struggles and victories – the stuff we’re not supposed to talk about.


But if you have the courage to draw out these inner experiences and share them, even with the tiniest, quietest voice, they can actually help your true self claim more of the stage in your own life.


Personal stories have the power to either weigh us down, or to set us free. Let me be clear: I’m not talking about the same old stories, the ones that have been holding you back, telling you you’re not good enough. When I encourage people to tell their stories, I’m talking about cashing in the unhealthy, self-limiting beliefs that no longer serve us and in exchange for a re-write. I’m inviting you to re-craft your personal story to bring to light the insights and gems you’ve gained through your unique way of seeing the world.


I know what it’s like to find the idea of self-revelation very, very scary. Most of my life I carried a secret. In reality it was not a deep, dark secret worth writing about in a gossip column, but to me it felt big, it felt scary, and it felt shameful.


I was born with a heart condition. From a young age I fought the truth that my heart, though functional, was different. It beat more erratically and slower than a heart should. To me, as a young child, this meant weakness and fragility, and for much of my life I lived in denial of the truth. As I grew up, I worked hard physically to be on par with my peers so no one would notice a difference. If forced to reveal the truth that my heart was born flawed, I did so in tiny anxious increments. With each small reveal I felt exposed, anxious, and deeply vulnerable.


Over the decade of my twenties I began to claim more inner-acceptance, but it wasn’t until a couple years ago, when I took the opportunity to get onstage at a public speaking event and share my story with a large audience of strangers, that a bigger, deeper inner transformation took place. The most important part of this public “outing” was not so much my time on stage as it was doing the personal work to get there.


As I prepared the speech I gained a deeper awareness and appreciation for the relationship, still ongoing, between me and my heart. The process of writing and re-writing a speech about my heart allowed me to own the story of my heart; it enabled me to turn this past shame into an integral part of how I express myself in the world.


By sharing my imperfect truth, I uncovered a well of untapped strength. Today the story my heart is a central part of who I am: it’s integrated into my branding at, it’s a gateway for me to connect with others, and it’s even imprinted as a tattoo on my skin. In all honesty, telling my story still feels uncomfortable and a bit scary. But the more I share of myself, the more I get back in return. And I’ve made it my mission to help others do the same.


Do you have a story that is waiting to be told? Here are five tips to help you start bring your personal story into the light.


1)      Tell yourself first.


You’ve heard the old financial adage ‘pay yourself first’? In this case, the currency is your own experiences, learned lessons and insights. Step one to claiming your story is to tell it to yourself. I encourage everyone to start by writing things down, with no one else watching or listening. I call this structured journaling: buy yourself a special journal for the express purpose of writing about the stuff ‘within’. Rather than writing about the day-to-day stuff, use this journal as an private forum to write about the experiences that have made impressions on you: the things that have hurt you, inspired you, transformed you, and challenged you to be who you are today, and the person you hope to be tomorrow.


2)      Forget ‘let it go’. Try ‘let it in’.


There is so much emphasis on the idea of ‘letting things go.’ I believe that we rarely, if ever, let transformative experiences “go” – as though they can somehow just disappear into the ether. Instead of trying to find strength to no longer care about the painful or emotional experiences of your past, try thinking of them as part of a bigger story. What was their role in your story? What is the meaning or message they have left you with? What is the lesson to be shared?


3)      Challenge old beliefs


For years I held incorrect beliefs about me, and my body, because of my heart. Afraid of being weak or fragile or less competent I missed so much about my inner athlete, my inner warrior. Give yourself an opportunity to scrutinize old beliefs: Try journaling about one major self-limiting belief. Where did it come from? How has it changed you? Does it feel true today? How could it be re-written?


You may also choose to examine why you’ve been silent so far. Were you ever told you shouldn’t speak up about a personal experience – rather directly or by the tacit silence of society? What do you think would happen if you started to share your story? What would you risk? What might you gain?


Explore these kinds of questions – and any others that feel right – during your structured journaling time.


4)      Embrace the work-in-progress


Remember that your story will never be really complete. The point of storytelling is not to capture everything about you, nor is it meant to resonate with every person who hears it. It is not something to put aside until you have figured out every lesson, or until you’ve earned enough credibility to have a say. Start where you are and see where it takes you.


5)      Help others by sharing.


One of the most cathartic, empowering aspects of personal story telling is to help others. Whether through a blog, a book, public speaking or even private conversations you may be able to help someone who is going through a similar experience – or someone who is currently wrestling with a whole different set of demons but draws strength from your display of courage, honesty or creativity. Don’t feel obliged to provide cookie cutter lessons for your audience: let your truth speak for itself.


No matter who you are or what you have to say, your story matters. Dare to give yourself a voice here and now, wherever you are at in your personal journey. I can’t wait to hear your story.


 [Stefani's note: this was a beautiful post, eh? I am proud to say I didn't edit it at all. Thanks for giving me an easy day of work, Camille!]


Camille DePutter – Bio

Camille DePutter is a communications specialist with a breadth of experience in marketing, branding, public relations, and corporate communications. Her work has been featured in countless magazines, newspapers and blogs, though often as a silent ghost writer on behalf of notable leaders and brands.

Most of all Camille is a storyteller. As an independent communications coach and writer, Camille uses her empathetic superpowers and love of language to help people put words to their own inner stories – helping them to express, share and celebrate the stories that are inside all of us.

You can check out her blog and her business at




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Evidence: You need Physical Health in order to be Happy

Posted by on Aug 7, 2014 in Blog | 0 comments

Evidence: You need Physical Health in order to be Happy


It may not be a double-blind study, but this poll of thousands of Americans conducted by NPR, the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the Harvard School of Public Health has some pretty damning – and alarming – evidence in store for us Americans:

We are stressed out.

Not just a little bit.

But to a frightening degree.

I feel two very strong, antithetical emotions when I look at this data. On one hand, I feel so much sorrow for all of us stuck in vicious stress cycles. I am saddened, and hurt, and I wish desperately I could make it all better. On the other hand, it’s kind of comforting to look at this data, and to know that I am not alone.

50 % of respondents reported a major stressful event in the past year.

More than 25 % reported being significantly stressed within the past month. When we combine these two statistics, we get the very real conclusion that many people are under significant chronic stress.

There are many fascinating graphs over at the NPR website. I recommend you check them out. They’re good for learning. For example, one piece of data I find particularly interesting, and quite funny, even, is this:

By age group, it’s the 20-somethings who are the most stressed out by having too much responsibility.

I guess it takes some time to adjust to, but I’d imagine having a spouse, children, aging parents to take care of, mortgages, and empoloyees… many of the responsibilities that come later on in adulthood, is a fair bit more pressing than what most people have going on in their twenties.

Like making sure to buy groceries over the weekend and showing up for work on Monday.

Not like I can do any hating, since I am a significantly stressed 20-something. I’d like to excuse myself, on the other hand, or at least get a giant tattoo on my forehead about it, because the vast majority of my stress comes from my heart/kidney issues, which give me palpitations, anxiety, and insomnia.

And I know, I know, I can’t judge anyway. Life as an adult is hard, and it hits you like a freight train when you first try to do it.

Regardless, the source of my stress – my health – brings up the most important and relevant factor for the PfW blog. Of all the respondents surveyed, those who suffer from disabilities or health conditions are the most likely to be stressed. As we would expect, those with health conditions score the highest in reporting stress from their own health conditions (80%). But they also report the highest amount of stress from nearly all other sources, too.

                                   Overall Chronic illness Disabled In poor health
Too many responsibilities overall 54% 53% 53% 63%
Problems with finances 53% 58% 64% 69%
Work problems* 53% 60% n/a n/a
Own health problems 38% 51% 65% 80%
Family health problems 37% 46% 50% 58%
Problems with family members 32% 38% 37% 26%
Unhappy with the way you look 28% 38% 33% 46%
Problems with friends 15% 16% 19% n/a
Changes in family situation 10% 11% 11% 10%
Problems with neighbors 7% 5% 7% 4%

(The graphs are prettier at NPR – go look!)

The far left column is “overall.” The far right is “in poor health.” Taking a look at the above graph, then, we see that, overwhemlingly, those in poor health rank far above the average in just about every category of stress.

It’s not just our health conditions themselves that directly stress us out…

but our health conditions that make everything else stressful, too.

Now, you might ask: is there not a problem in the inference I am making between correlation and causation? Am I drawing a cause and effect relationship where there isn’t one? Perhaps it is a coincidence that people in poor health are more stressed by all stressors than other people. Perhaps people who have stressful situations also develop poor health! Perhaps people who don’t have their shit together just don’t have their shit together, in all categories.

Perhaps, I’d say. Perhaps that is possible.

One piece of data that might support the hypothesis that “just not having your shit together” is the fact that people who earn under $20,000/year also report much greater stress than those who earn more. Without much income, it’s much more likely you’ll eat an unhealthy diet, develop health conditions, and struggle to get the medical and nutritional support you need. It’s also much easier to lose your grip on everything without money. Financial stress bears on the ability to do just about everything in society today.

Nonetheless what these stats and questions all invariably demonstrate is that stress and poor health go hand in hand. If you’re stressed, you might get sick. If you’re sick, you’re almost definitely going to get stressed out by it.

And, if you’re sick, there’s a good chance other aspects of your life will become more challenging, too. Sometimes it’s harder to work. Sometimes it’s harder to maintain healthy interpersonal relationships. Sometimes it’s plain old harder to deal, such that even small stressors end up feeling like monumental weights. Poor health very quickly leads to “not having your shit together” syndrome.

And boy, oh boy, do I ever know what that feels like.

The evidence is in for health and happiness, and damning.

Is there a takeaway message? I don’t know.

The best I know that I can personally do with it is have forgiveness for the anxiety I feel, and to move forward working on my health issues with patience, knowing that easier times in many regards are likely ahead.

(Statistically, they’ve just got to be.)

I think.

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